Quotes Collection

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I maintain there is much more wonder in science than in pseudoscience. And in addition, to whatever measure this term has any meaning, science has the additional virtue, and it is not an inconsiderable one, of being true. — Carl Sagan, The Burden Of Skepticism

You can’t convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence, it’s based on a deep seated need to believe. — Carl Sagan

Life is but a momentary glimpse of the wonder of this astonishing universe, and it is sad to see so many dreaming it away on spiritual fantasy. — Carl Sagan

In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said, “Let there be light.” And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a lot better. — Woody Allen

Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. — Unknown

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires. — Susan B. Anthony

Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived. — Isaac Asimov

Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true. — Francis Bacon

How happy can you be when you think every action and thought is being monitored by a judgmental ghost? — Dan Barker, Losing Faith in Faith

You keep accusing me of blasphemy all of the time, But I cannot be convicted of a victimless crime. — Dan Barker

Faith is a cop-out. It is intellectual bankruptcy. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can’t be taken on its own merits. — Dan Barker

One would no more join Christianity to show love and acceptance than one would become a Nazi to show racial tolerance. — Kelsey Bjarnason

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. — Edmund Blake

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. — Napoleon Bonaparte

I am surrounded by priests who repeat incessantly that their kingdom is not of this world, and yet they lay their hands on everything they can get. — Napoleon Bonaparte

Freedom is the distance between church and state. — John Boston

Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can’t think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals! — George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood — George Carlin

I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. — George Carlin

Instead of school busing and prayer in schools, which are both controversial, why not a joint solution? Prayer in buses. Just drive these kids around all day and let them pray their fuckn’ empty little heads off. — George Carlin, Brain Droppings

When it comes to BULLSHIT…BIG-TIME, MAJOR LEAGUE BULLSHIT… you have to stand IN AWE, IN AWE of the all time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. — George Carlin

I’m not in favor of the government mandating a prayer in school because our country was founded on the fact that no particular religious faith would have ascendance over or preferential treatment over any other. — Jimmy Carter

It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him. — Arthur C. Clarke

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. — Arthur C. Clarke

The greatest tragedy in mankind’s entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion. — Arthur C. Clarke

If only more Christians read their bibles there’d be less Christians. — Derek W. Clayton

The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us. — Mario Cuomo

If the theists all shut up, the gods would be speechless. — Robert Curry

I cannot persuade myself that a beneficent and omnipotent God would have designedly created parasitic wasps with the express intention of their feeding within the living bodies of Caterpillars. — Charles Darwin, The Descent of Man

I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world. — Richard Dawkins

The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil and no good, nothing but blind pitiless indifference. — Richard Dawkins, River Out of Eden

Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion. — Democritus

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away. — Philip K. Dick

Missionaries are perfect nuisances and leave every place worse than they found it. — Charles Dickens

Those who have faith need no proof because they have lowered their standard of evidence.

How many times has the end of the world been predicted? The same number of times the prediction has proved false. — Hugh Downs

So far as religion of the day is concerned, it is a damned fake… Religion is all bunk. — Thomas Edison

I do not believe that any type of religion should ever be introduced into the public schools of the United States. — Thomas Edison

Either God wants to abolish evil, and cannot; Or he can, but does not want to; Or he cannot and does not want to. If he wants to, but cannot, he is impotent. If he can, but does not want to, he is wicked. But, if God both can and wants to abolish evil, Then how come evil in the world? — Epicurus

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist. — Epicurus

Christianity does not preach the gospels to offer man a guide to salvation. It uses the gospels as a weapon in the ideological conquest of man. — Simon Ewins

God is a perfect example of the kind of aberration that can result from an untrained intellect combining with an unrestrained imagination. — Simon Ewins

When a young person loses faith in his religion because he begins to study science and its methodology it isn’t that through the obtaining of real knowledge that he knows it all, but he suddenly realizes that he doesn’t know it all. — Richard Feynman

Prayers never bring anything… They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for christmas. — W. C. Fields

If 50 million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. — Anatole France

In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. — Galileo Galilei

Every injustice that has ever been fastened upon women in a Christian country has been “authorized by the Bible” and riveted and perpetuated by the pulpit. — Helen H. Gardner

By maintaining the separation of church and state, the United States has avoided the intolerance which has so divided the rest of the world with religious wars. — Barry Goldwater

God is not all that exists. God is all that does not exist. — Remy de Gourmont

My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth, that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally, but I didn’t want to upset him. — Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is ‘God is crying.’ And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is ‘Probably because of something you did.’ — Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

We are now in the 21st century. All books, including the Koran, should be fair game for flushing down the toilet without fear of violent reprisal. — Sam Harris, The End of Faith

There are some people who will see a silver lining in a mushroom cloud. — Sam Harris

A person can be a God-fearing Christian on Sunday and a working scientist come Monday morning, without ever having to account for the partition that seems to have erected itself in his head while he slept. — Sam Harris, The End of Faith

If a plane crashes and 99 people die while 1 survives, it is called a miracle. Should the families of the 99 think so? — Judith Hayes

One man’s theology is another man’s belly laugh. — Robert Heinlein, Notebooks of Lazarus Long

Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn’t there. — Robert A. Heinlein, JOB: A Comedy of Justice

What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof. — Christopher Hitchens

Our ignorance is god; what we know is science. — Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899)

No man with any sense of humor ever founded a religion. — Robert G. Ingersoll

God whispered in my ear while I was sleeping last night. “He told me he hates you. Prove he did not. — Graham Kendall

Christians think a long record of church attendence and Bible reading is equivalent to an advanced degree in science. — Graham Kendall

If 18,000 gods have been invented then it is likely that god 18,001 is also invented. — Graham Kendall

Christian theology is the talk of people trying to convince themselves that they really like the cage they were tricked into entering. — Graham Kendall

The point of existence is not to find the most powerful thing you can imagine and then grovel before it. — Graham Kendall

Parents teach their children to look both ways when crossing the street. They tell them to look only one way when choosing a religion. — Graham Kendall

If the bible proves the existence of God, then Action Comics prove the existence of Superman. — Graham Kendall

People who need to believe in deities can find them everywhere they look. — Graham Kendall

Fabricating answers to unanswerable questions is the domain of religion. A deity model is not the default alternative to a scientific mystery. — Graham Kendall

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. — Carl Sagan

Nature does not always conform to our predispositions and preferences, to what we deem comfortable and easy to understand. — Carl Sagan

Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep thoughts can be winnowed from deep nonsense. — Carl Sagan

We should be teaching our children the scientific method and the reasons for a Bill of Rights. With it comes a certain decency, humility and community spirit. — Carl Sagan

Our species needs, and deserves, a citizenry with minds wide awake and a basic understanding of how the world works. — Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World

People who feel themselves to be exiles in this world are mightily inclined to believe themselves citizens of another. — George Santayana

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. — Seneca

It is the characteristic of a weak and diseased mind to fear the unfamiliar. — Seneca

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. — Fulton Sheen

Atheism is the absence of a belief in a god, nothing more. If the theist wishes to draw monumental implications from this lack of belief, he must argue for his claims. — George H. Smith, Atheism, The Case Against God

Christianity has nothing to offer a happy man living in a natural, intelligible universe. — George H. Smith, Atheism, The Case Against God

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at your side, kid. — Han Solo, Star Wars: A New Hope

One might be asked “How can you prove that a god does not exist?” One can only reply that it is scarcely necessary to disprove what has never been proved. — David A. Spitz

Here’s what happens when you die–you sit in a box and get eaten by worms. I guarantee you that nothing cool happens when you die. — Howard Stern

I’m sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don’t think there’s any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face white and praying to a rock. — Howard Stern

If you talk to God, you’re praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia. — Thomas Szasz

It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of what he was never reasoned into. — Jonathan Swift

Christianity is a pestilent superstition. — Tacitus

I do not fear death, in view of the fact that I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it. — Mark Twain

Most people can’t bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity? — Mark Twain

It ain’t the parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. — Mark Twain

Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. — Mark Twain

Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes, and wishes he was certain of. — Mark Twain

A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows. — Mark Twain

Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers. It tells people to go out and stick their noses in other people’s business. — Jesse Ventura

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. — Voltaire

The first priest was the first rogue who met the first fool. — Voltaire

As long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to commit atrocities. — Voltaire

The truths of religion are never so well understood as by those who have lost their power of reasoning. — Voltaire

The man who says to me, ‘Believe as I do, or God will damn you,’ will presently say, ‘Believe as I do, or I shall assassinate you.’ — Voltaire

Why do born-again people so often make you wish they’d never been born the first time? — Katherine Whitehorn

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it. — Oscar Wilde

A bishop keeps on saying at the age of eighty what he was told to say at the age of eighteen. — Oscar Wilde

The Bible tells us to be like God, and then on page after page it describes God as a mass murderer. This may be the single most important key to the political behavior of Western Civilization. — Robert Anton Wilson

We killed all our Klingon gods centuries ago. They were more trouble than they were worth. — Lt. Cmndr. Worf

If God dropped acid, would he see people? — Steven Wright

The real truth about a lot of life’s mysteries can be explained by science but people don’t want to get in bed with science because it’s cold. They prefer religion, myth, drama. — David Duchovny

A Christian is a person who feels repentance on Sunday for what they did on Saturday, and what they are going to do on Monday. — Thomas Ybarra

I don’t want to see any religious people in public office because they’re working for another boss. — Frank Zappa

They tried to make me go to Catholic school, too. I lasted a very short time. When the penguin came after me with a ruler, I was out of there. — Frank Zappa

This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it. — John Adams

Nothing is more dreaded than the national government meddling with religion. — John Adams

When you say ‘radical right’ today, I think of these moneymaking ventures by fellows like Pat Robertson and others who are trying to take the Republican Party away from the Republican Party, and make a religious organization out of it. If that ever happens, kiss politics goodbye. — Barry Goldwater

Lighthouses are more helpful than churches. — Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanac, 1758

I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology. — Thomas Jefferson

The purpose of separation of church and state is to keep forever from these shores the ceaseless strife that has soaked the soil of Europe in blood for centuries. — James Madison

I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church. — Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason

Any system of religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be true. — Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason

The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. — Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion

Believing there is no God gives me more room for belief in family, people, love, truth, beauty, sex, Jell-o, and all the other things I can prove and that make this life the best life I will ever have. — Penn Jillette

The only miracle I can find in religion is that not one follower questions the silliness of it. — Baron von Knifty

Science flies you to the moon, religion flies you into buildings. — Victor Stenger

We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further. — Richard Dawkins

Scientific beliefs are supported by evidence, and they get results. Myths and faiths are not and do not. — Richard Dawkins, River Out of Eden

If all the achievements of scientists were wiped out tomorrow, there would be no doctors, but witch doctors, no transport faster than horses, no computers, no printed books, no agriculture beyond subsistence peasant farming. If all the achievements of theologians were wiped out tomorrow, would anyone notice the difference? Even bad achievements of scientists, the bombs, and sonar-guided whaling vessels *work*! The achievements of theologians don’t do anything, don’t affect anything, don’t mean anything. What makes anyone think that “theology” is a subject at all? — Richard Dawkins, The Emptiness of Theology

Testosterone-sodden young men too unattractive to get a woman in this world might be desperate enough to go for 72 private virgins in the next. — Richard Dawkins

We are the custodians of life’s meaning. — Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot

Theist… someone who mumbles to the sky. — Herbivorous, Stickam

The god in the bible is a kid with an ant farm holding a magnifying glass….he just wants to watch them burn. — BigJohn2356, Stickam

Ontological crap: If we can conceive of the greatest possible being, then it must exist. — Seigneur Ekenthor, Stickam

When I was a kid I used sit on our priest’s lap and we would discuss anything that popped up. — Spazquester, Stickam

The size of the biblical universe extends to Uranus. — Ken Churbuck, Stickam

Humans created gods… then had to create science when the gods weren’t working. — DeltaV, Stickam

God resides between a theist’s ears… where their brain used to be. — DeltaV, Stickam

I am Jesus of God. You Will Be Indoctrinated. Existence is Futile. — Bumper sticker

I was thinking it would be funny to have a bumper sticker that said on top ‘Sarah Palin’ and then underneath it says ’1 Timothy 2:11-12′ — Erkd1, Stickam

Faith is a crap shoot with real crap. — DeltaV, Stickam

The missing 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not progress past the 3rd century. — Monk, Stickam

Religions claim what makes us human is a disease for which they offer the only cure. — DeltaV, Stickam

Religion: Friends do come in a box. — Saint Fool, Stickam

Religions offer you “after-life insurance” you pay for NOW but you’ll NEVER be able to collect on AFTER YOU DIE. — DeltaV, Stickam

Religions are comedies, believers are the punch lines. — DeltaV, Stickam

This is what I just heard… ‘words words words words GOD IS REAL words word words words GOD IS REAL words words words GOD IS REAL.’ — Rev. SmokeDawg420, Stickam

Christians are used to threats of hell, so it’s not unexpected they’re OK with making threats of their own. — DeltaV, Stickam

There was no calender when Genesis was written so how does anyone know how long a day was?

There is nothing which can better deserve our patronage than the promotion of science and literature. Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness. — George Washington, Address to Congress, 8 January, 1790

All the tales of miracles, with which the Old and New Testament are filled, are fit only for imposters to preach and fools to believe. — Thomas Paine

The Christian religion begins with a dream and ends with a murder. — Thomas Paine

The declaration which says that God visits the sins of the fathers upon the children is contrary to every principle of moral justice. — Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason

Science is the true theology. — Thomas Paine, The Mind on Fire

My country is the world, and my religion is to do good. — Thomas Paine

The study of theology, as it stands in the Christian churches, is the study of nothing; it is founded on nothing; it rests on no principles; it proceeds by no authority; it has no data; it can demonstrate nothing; and it admits of no conclusion. — Thomas Paine

Religion is like a crutch, of some value to the lame, but a hinderence to the healthy.

I will pass out a book of indecipherable metaphors in disagreement with all the physical evidence I placed in the universe, and then I will provide these little creatures with rational thought. If they choose to use it and dismiss the amalgam of metaphors due to evidence to the contrary I will punish them infinitely. — God Logic

If god doesn’t like the way I live, let him tell me, not you. — Seen on a button

Christians have fathers who aren’t fathers, mothers who aren’t mothers, brothers who aren’t brothers, and sisters who aren’t sisters, they swear off sex, and then try to explain “family values” to the rest of us.

The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savages. As if the savages weren’t dangerous enough already. — Edward Abbey

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion. — Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle

Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions. — Scott Adams

Everything has a natural explanation. The moon is not a god but a great rock and the sun a hot rock. — Anaxagorus, ca. 475 BC

I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect had intended for us to forgo their use. — Galileo Galilei

I like your christ, I do not like your christians, Your christians are so unlike your christ. — Mahatma Gandhi

Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There’s a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning. — Bill Gates

I believe today that I am acting in the sense of the Almighty Creator. By warding off the Jews I am fighting for the Lord’s work. — Adolf Hitler, Reichstag speech, 1936

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click “I agree.”

[Image of a church] I’d join, but I’m allergic to nuts. — Souly, Stickam

Scientology, best religion money can buy. — DeltaV, Stickam

You can’t have freedom OF religion without freedom FROM religion. — AronRa, YouTube

Christianity: The belief that a cosmic jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by talking snake to eat from a magical tree… yeah, makes perfect sense. — Bumper Sticker

It is impossible to tell where revelations stop and hallucinations begin.

The earth is flat, and anyone who disputes this claim is an atheist who deserves to be punished. — Sheik Abdel-Aziz Ibn Baaz, Supreme religious authority, Saudi Arabia, 1993

Christian faith is not merely believing that there is a god. It is believing that there is a god no matter what the evidence on the question may be. — Richard Robinson, An Atheist’s Values, 1964

We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes. — Gene Roddenberry

They said God was on high and he controlled the world and therefore we must pray against Satan. Well, if God controls the world, he controls Satan. For me, religion was full of misstatements and reaches of logic that I just couldn’t agree with. — Gene Roddenberry

The very concept of sin comes from the bible. Christianity offers to solve a problem of its own making! Would you be thankful to a person who cut you with a knife in order to sell you a bandage? — Dan Barker, Losing Faith in Faith

You can cite a hundred references to show that the biblical God is a bloodthirsty tyrant, but if they can dig up two or three verses that say “God is love,” they will claim that *you* are taking things out of context! — Dan Barker, Losing Faith in Faith

I am an atheist because there is no evidence for the existence of God. That should be all that needs to be said about it: no evidence, no belief. — Dan Barker, Losing Faith in Faith

Human decency is not derived from religion. It precedes it. — Christopher Hitchens, God Is Not Great

The governor of Texas (George WTF Bush), who, when asked if the Bible should also be taught in Spanish, replied that ‘if English was good enough for Jesus, then it’s good enough for me.’ — Christopher Hitchens

Organised religion is violent, irrational, intolerant, allied to racism, tribalism, and bigotry, invested in ignorance and hostile to free inquiry, contemptuous of women and coercive toward children. — Christopher Hitchens, God Is Not Great

If you gave Jerry Falwell an enema he could be buried in a matchbox. — Christopher Hitchens

Atheists have always argued that this world is all that we have, and that our duty is to one another to make the very most and best of it. — Christopher Hitchens, The Portable Atheist

Religion ends and philosophy begins, just as alchemy ends and chemistry begins, and astrology ends and astronomy begins. — Christopher Hitchens

Rational people have better things to do than grant unwarranted credibility to every half-assed delusion. — P.Z. Myers

When the missionaries first came to our land, they had the Bibles and we had the land. Fifty years later, we had the Bibles and they had the land. — Jomo Kenyatta, first President of Kenya after independence

Why be born again, when you can just grow up?

I think I’ll believe in Gosh instead of God. If you don’t believe in Gosh too, you’ll be darned to heck.

Fundamentalism means never having to say “I’m wrong.”

Humanity sees its reflection in the mirrors that surround it, and thus gratified, calls this image perfect, good, merciful, omniscient, omnipresent, holy, just, and above all, love. So enchanted are these hairless apes with this, that they invent a special word for it: ‘God’.

The scientist alters his perception to conform to the facts; The religious man tries to change the facts to conform to his beliefs.

For many, faith is a suitable substitute for knowledge, as heaven is for a difficult life.

The Christian lives in a nightmare and thinks it is a pleasant dream.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. — Emo Philips

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. — Aldous Huxley

The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike. — Delos B. McKown

The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church. — Ferdinand Magellan

You keep believing, I’ll keep evolving. — Bumper sticker

As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion. — Treaty of Tripoli. Article 11. Ratified by Congress, making it the Law of the Land equal to the US Constitution

If the Bible is mistaken in telling us where we came from, how can we trust it to tell us where we’re going? — Justin Brown

The sailor does not pray for wind, he learns to sail. — Gustaf Lindborg

As people become more intelligent they care less for preachers and more for teachers — Robert G. Ingersoll

If I had to choose between believing in Santa and God I do believe I would believe in Santa. At least Santa brings presents. — Paige Mitchell

Eskimo: ‘If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?’ Priest: ‘No, not if you did not know.’ Eskimo: ‘Then why did you tell me?’ — Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. — Frater Ravus

Deaths in the Bible: God – 2,270,365 not including the victims of Noah’s flood, Sodom and Gomorrah, or the many plagues, famines, fiery serpents, etc. because no specific numbers were given. Satan – 10

The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself. — Richard Francis Burton

Doesn’t it bother you that you put more logical thought into choosing a car than you do in choosing a god?

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. — Bertrand Russell

Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion. — School Superintendent, The Simpsons, episode #1

Why should I allow that same God to tell me how to raise my kids, who had to drown his own? — Robert G. Ingersoll

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe. — Albert Einstein

When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called Religion. — Robert M. Pirsig

Praying is like a rocking chair… it’ll give you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere. — Gypsy Rose Lee

The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, all the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. — Frank Zappa

The Christian god makes man human, then burns him when he acts like one.

The inspiration of the bible depends on the ignorance of the person who reads it. — Robert G. Ingersoll

Koranic teaching still insists that the sun moves around the earth. How can we advance when they teach things like that? — Taslima Nasrin

Who needs Satan when you have a God like this? — Robert M. Price

The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. — Stephen Hawking

Gods dont kill people. People with Gods kill people. — David Viaene

Children are born without religion. Don’t give them your neurosis. — Nick Kinnan

If we are going to teach creation science as an alternative to evolution, then we should also teach the stork theory as an alternative to biological reproduction. — Judith Hayes

Primates also have trouble imagining a universe not run by an angry alpha male.

Christianity did not come with tidings of great joy, but with a message of eternal grief. It came with the threat of everlasting torture on its lips. It meant war on earth and perdition hereafter. — Robert G. Ingersoll

It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere. — Voltaire

When I was a child I had an imaginary friend to whom I talked. Then I grew up and became an atheist.

God should be executed for crimes against humanity. — Bryan Emmanuel Gutierrez

All churches beat the devil good, but they are very carefull not to kill him! — Wilfredo Hernandez

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so. — Arthur C. Clarke

If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do your shit, then YOU DESERVE IT. — Frank Zappa

In Nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments, there are consequences. — Robert G. Ingersoll

In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point. — Friedrich Nietzsche

All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few. — Stendhal

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. — Steven Weinberg

Faith is believing what you know ain’t so. — Mark Twain

The Bible has fingerprints all over it and none of them are God-sized.

Hell would be to have to spend eternity in a Heaven with those who are sure they are going there. — Ed Martin

Whenever a man imagines that he need only believe the truth of a proposition, without evidence – that unbelievers will go to hell, that Jews drink the blood of infants – he becomes capable of anything. — Sam Harris

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. — H. L. Mencken

Take from the church the miraculous, the supernatural, the incomprehensible, the unreasonable, the impossible, the unknowable, the absurd, and nothing but a vacuum remains. — Robert G. Ingersoll

If I wanted to spend my life believing in something – it would be myself. — Andrew Simpson

I never understood religion until I witnessed a shackled man being beaten into submission. “Trust me,” said the torturer, “when you tell me what I want to hear, the suffering will stop.”

Living in fear or judgement is not how I will spend my life. Realizing that this life is all I get and your life is all you get, brings a need to make the best of all possible. — Michael Stanton

There are three kinds of people: those who seek the truth as revealed by a higher authority; those who seek the truth as defined by rational enquiry; and the vast majority, who believe whatever they find convenient. — Richard Van Harris

On the first day, man created God. On the second day he realized he made a mistake and was ashamed of what he created. — SoundSyndrome, Stickam

Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers.

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says; he is always convinced that it says what he means. — George Bernard Shaw

Only sheep need a shepherd. — John Kelly Ireland

The most common explanation given for death and destruction attributed to “Acts of God” is that God is unknowable and beyond human understanding. That also happens to be the very best description there is for what does not exist. — Ed Martin

There is in every village a torch – the teacher; and an extinguisher- the clergyman. — Victor Hugo

Q: Prove God doesn’t exist. A: That’s a tough one. Show me how it’s done by proving Zeus and Apollo don’t exist, and I’ll use your method. — Pat Condell

I love the pope in his pope mobile. Three feet of bullet proof plexiglass. That’s faith in action folks, you know he’s got god on his side. — Bill Hicks

The more prohibitions you have, the less virtuous people will be. — Tao Te Ching

The intensity of your religious conviction is inversely proportional to your grip on reality. — Michael DeRousselle

It’s a pity Jesus remained so silent before his accusers. He could have said: “Oh, by the way guys, no-one should ever kill, torture, maim, burn alive or commit genocide in my name.” If he’d been a god he could have saved us all a lot of pain. — Geoff Mather

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. — Bertrand Russell

Anyone who engages in the practice of psychotherapy confronts every day the devastation wrought by the teachings of religion. — Nathanial Branden

The first wise man created God, for fools. The second wise man created religion, to keep people fooled. — Ere Thomas

Existence for eternity could get a little boring… especially towards the end. — Woody Allen

God is like any xenophobic country limiting the free-movement of people. — Lookit, Stickam

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. — Bill Watterson

If you have to lie to prove what you believe, then what you believe is a lie. — Frater Ravus

You don’t count the dead, when god’s on your side. — Bob Dylan

Isn’t it ironic that our fear of death could actually be the death of us. — John Kelly Ireland

The Jewish version of hell is the place where everyone has to buy retail. — Erkd1, Stickam

Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises. — Ambrose Bierce

If god created man in his own image, how come I’m not invisible? — David Powers

How can a person who is civil and just but asks for nothing in return be less righteous than those behave justly, but only under threat, and for the aim of a personal reward? — John Kelly

As a child you may be told that when holding a sea shell to your ear that you can hear the sea. Those that grow up realise that it is not the sea they are hearing. — John Kelly Ireland

The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Be happy while you’re living, For you’re a long time dead. — Scottish Proverb

If all the Christians who have called other Christians “not really a Christian” were to vanish, there’d be no Christians left.

Atheists make only a small percentage of the world population and this proves that the common sense is not so common.

When we move beyond God, or no God, and start to be responsible for ourselves, we start to live. — Colin Shingleton

There can be but little liberty on earth while men worship a tyrant in heaven. — Robert Green Ingersoll

Telling an atheist they’re going to hell is like telling a religious person they’re going to Candyland. I’m sorry, you dont scare us. — Steven Crocker

George Bush says he speaks to god every day, and christians love him for it. If George Bush said he spoke to god through his hair dryer, they would think he was mad. I fail to see how the addition of a hair dryer makes it any more absurd. — Sam Harris, Letter to a Christian Nation

If money could be made in not believing in god, you’d see millions and millions of born-again atheists. — Baron von Knifty

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. — Ambrose Bierce

What is the difference between a cult and a religion? About 100 years.

The predictions of Armageddon and End of Days so proudly touted by several religions, are written so ambiguously that the masses can just mold them like modelling clay to declare any time as the end of time.

If god were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted upon men, he would kill himself. — Alexandre Dumas Père

I’m disappointed that my own Catholic Church has decided that capital punishment is wrong. Which is pretty hypocritical if you think about it, because they wouldn’t even have a religion if it wasn’t for capital punishment. — Stephen Colbert

We admit that we are like apes, but we seldom realise that we ARE apes. — Richard Dawkins

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. — Mark Twain

I just talked to god and he says he’s a gay pro-abortion Atheist! Now, prove that statement false. — Baron von Knifty

Man has always required an explanation for all of those things in the world he did not understand. If an explanation was not available, he created one. — Jim Crawford

Science is certain of nothing and requires proof of everything. Faith is certain of everything and requires proof of nothing.

You are a good person because you fear damnation, I’m a good person without obligation. — Guillermo Garcia Cruz

When everything you’ve been told is a lie, nothing hurts more than the truth.

A man’s most valuable trait is a judicious sense of what not to believe. — Euripides

When we have answered the last question, we will have no more need to dignify our ignorance with the name ‘God’. — Sebastian Faulks, Human Traces

So god can make a universe over 28 billion light years across containing billions of stars and planets just so a few apes on one single, insignificant world can worship him… but he can’t be bothered to help a starving baby? — Godfrey Zoan

If I watched a football match then orally relayed the events. This is repeated from father to son orally for 500 years. How accurate do you think the resulting report would be? Yet the first thing any theist does is quote the Bible! — Chris Parry

Nine out of 10 suicide bombers agree: God is Great

If the masses at church go to heaven, I wish to stay on Earth and burn when the apocalypse comes, for I would rather die an agonizing and painful death than spend the rest of eternity amongst ignorant people. — Catharina Martin

Our inability to understand death has given us religion. Our inability to appreciate life has kept it flourishing. — Hugh Jedake

Atheist: A person who believes in one less god than you do.

God sacrificing his only son, knowing he would ressurect him shortly thereafter? That doesn’t sound like much of a sacrifice to me. — David Powers

The meek shall inherit the Earth. The rest of us will go to the stars. — Omni Magazine

During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity; in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution. — James Madison, A Memorial and Remonstrance, 1785

Either there is a god or there isn’t, both possibilites are frightful, because if there is a god then we better find out who he is, and find out what he wants and do what he says. If there is no god then we are in trouble, because we are hurdling into space at 66,000 miles an hour and nobody is in charge. — Russian Atheist Astronomer

I am a god fearing man… god and its crazy followers scare the shit out of me. — Joseph C. O’Regan

A Christian will say… “I believe God created me in one day” Yeah, looks liked He rushed it. — Bill Hicks

I know an invisible giant with superhuman powers, he made the universe in a week and kills people who don’t worship him. His name is Norman and he’s a talking pink squirrel. That last sentence was the only one they locked me up for.

Some theists say scientists are “playing god” but I don’t see any scientists deliberately making babies that will die of cancer before they can even walk. — Godfrey Zoan

Christianity: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life.

In heaven all the interesting people are missing. — Friedrich Nietzsche

You’ve got to question a story where the fruit of knowledge is forbidden.

Millions long for immortality who don’t know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. — Susan Ertz

Animals do not have gods, they are smarter than that. — Ronnie Snow

Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends! Well I say there are some things we don’t want to know! Important things! — Ned Flanders, The Simpsons

The more tightly you cling to your faith, the looser your grip is on reality. — Alan Harvey

When a child has an imaginary friend they go to a psychologist. When an adult has an imaginary friend, they go to church.

Religion is like a penis. It’s ok to have one, and it is ok to be proud of it. But don’t pull it out in public and start waving it around, and don’t you DARE try to shove it down my kid’s throats.

Before you pray for that second coming, you should at least prove the first one. — Baron von Knifty

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist. — Epicurus

Religion is a bad answer to a good question.

Religion applauds delusion and renames it ‘faith’. — Godfrey Zoan

Some argue that atheism is an equal and opposite to theism. This is incorrect, atheism is in fact the default position, theism is the anomaly to explain. — Gabriel Neil

Being religious is like sitting in a train station and waiting for a plane. — Mahyar Bordbar

The problem of faith is that it is a conversation stopper. As long as you don’t have to give reasons for what you believe, you have effectively immunized yourself against the power of human conversation. — Sam Harris, The End of Faith

A man who prays to god for the power to walk on water will not get to the other side of the lake faster than a man who knows how to swim.

You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. — Anne Lamott

Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make when in the presence of religious dogma. — Sam Harris

If sickness is God’s will, your recovery is in its hands. Then why go to a hospital? — John Kelly Ireland

I’ve got better things to do than sit in a pointy building listening to a man in a dress read a poem.

I got kicked out of Barnes and Noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section.

By dislaiming the idea of a next life, we can take more excitement in this one! — Richard Dawkins

Sheep are considered among the stupidest of farm-living creatures, herded by snapping dogs, only to have their fur sheared for market or even killed for their meat. It is by no small coincidence that Priests call the people who listen to them “their flock”. — Bill Vincent

Jesus hardly made the greatest sacrifice. He knew he would be resurrected anyway.

To really be free, you need to be free in the mind. — Alexander Loutsis

Only religion could justify killing an adult with a family because he carried out abortions of unwanted or unhealthy fetuses that don’t even have the intelligence of a typical fish. — Alan Harvey

So, according to the religious, you can only be good if you’re scared of the consequences of being bad? Strange, I thought people were good because they care about each other? — Alan Harvey

No one would believe in God if they didn’t have something to gain from him. — Andrew N

Millions in the U.S.A. actually believe an invisible being made a universe 28 billion light years across in a few days, but still made Noah get millions of pairs of animals and insects into a huge boat? Seriously… we’re fucked.

Gee, there are so many gods. What happens if we believe in the wrong one? Every time we go to church we just make the real one madder and madder. — Homer Simpson

Raze those useless churches, mosques and temples and use the materials to build shelters, beds and dining halls for the needy. God dammit, practice what you preach — Baron von Knifty

The 9/11 hijackers are in hell… the victims in heaven! Unless you agree with Al Qaeda, in which case the hijackers are in heaven and the victims in hell! Unless you’re an atheist, in which case all of them are simply dead victims of stupidity. — Alan Harvey

Ever notice this about religion: The bigger the hat the bigger the bullshit. — Baron von Knifty

Your god is too small for my universe. — Carl Sagan

We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers. — Carl Sagan

Most religions prophecy the end of the world and then consistently work together to ensure that these prophecies come true.

Believing in god and an afterlife is the epitome of procrastination. — Shawn Young

Never trust anyone who tries to sell you an invisible product. — Bumper sticker

The problem with religion, because it’s been sheltered from criticism, is that it allows people to believe en mass what only idiots or lunatics could believe in isolation. — Sam Harris

As our knowledge of the universe expands, the usefulness of our religions shrink. — Uri Nassol

The only one more pathetic than a person on their knees praying for salvation is the other person telling them it’s all true. — Baron von Knifty

If we say St. Paul five times while facing Jerusalem, Justin appears. — Sanity Clause, Stickam

Primitive people, without the benefit of scientific method, could not see how the wind could move, so they concocted “gods” who moved the wind for them. That’s when the trouble started. — Ken Harris

I have a conundrum. If I tell you your spouse is being unfaithful, you demand proof. If I tell you that you have a life-threatening disease, you seek proof. If I tell you that there will be a Second Coming or Armageddon, you not only seek no proof, but accept such an unsupported statement as truth. — David J. Constable

The mountain of evidence against religion can be contrasted with the tiny pile of sand in favor of it. A pile of sand just big enough to bury your head in. — Greta X

If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope. — Bill Maher

The Stage is too big for the Drama. — Richard P. Feynman

God created the universe, the universe exists, therefore God must exist. — Luckyduckxiii, Stickam

I’ve also had relations with Jesus. He’s showed me things. — John the Obeast, Stickam

If you blindly follow his word without asking any questions or demanding to understand the logic behind it, you are, my friend, going against all democratic beliefs of society. We have a word for rulers that do that, they are called dictators. — Carl Allen

Hatred felt long and deep enough feels like tradition. — Derrick Jensen, The Culture of Make Believe

Whenever someone informs me that “Jesus loves you!” I hasten to inform that person that I am not in any way a necrophiliac.

Those are my beliefs. If you don’t like them, I have others. — Groucho Marx

God is going to make you a cripple for that. — Victoria_Regina2, (Christian)

Some people may trust in God, but I certainly don’t trust ANYONE who works for him.

I condemn false prophets, I condemn the effort to take away the power of rational decision, to drain people of their free will–and a hell of a lot of money in the bargain. Religions vary in their degree of idiocy, but I reject them all. For most people, religion is nothing more than a substitute for a malfunctioning brain. — Gene Roddenberry

I told my children never to touch the fruit bowl. They were naughty and touched it though, so I threw them out in the middle of winter and cursed them to suffer horribly for the rest of their lives, and for all subsequent generations to suffer also. I forgave them by sending my newest child to them to be tortured and murdered. Am I a bit sick? — Alan Harvey

Science teaches you to open your eyes and appreciate the reality around you. Religion teaches you to close your eyes and cling to the fantasy within you. — Alan Harvey

The Ocean: A body of water occupying two-thirds of a world “made for man”… who has no gills. — Ambrose Bierce

Theism is like wearing a blindfold, whereas atheism is realizing you’re wearing a blindfold and removing it. Coping with what you see once the blindfold is off is where things get REALLY interesting. — Alan Harvey

Most of the people would destroy the Truth if the Truth was about to destroy their religion. — Lemuel K. Washburn

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest. — Denis Diderot

What you’re jumping over when you take that leap of faith is originality and free thinking. — Baron von Knifty

Ask people to march for civil rights and they’ll pick up a sign. Ask them to march for religion and they’ll pick up a sword. — Baron von Knifty

I have read the majority of the Old Testament. I must say that I am thouroughly shocked and disgusted by the performance of all the characters– especially God.

I have no need for religion, I have a conscience. — Marie S

By all means be open minded, but don’t be so open minded your brain falls out. — Richard Dawkins

Abu Hamza following the Space Shuttle disaster which killed seven american astronauts:”It is God’s punishment”. Abu Hamza following the Iranian earthquake which killed 15,000 muslims “It is God’s will”. Religion lowers your tolerance levels so you accept all manner of stupidity.

There are more wonders outside our heads than the crude fantasies that spring from within them. — Uri Nassol

Fundamentalists believe the problem is eating from the Tree of Knowledge. Atheists believe the problem is cutting it down. — Arthur Shuey

They, who don’t believe in themselves believe in god. — Aravind Chandrasekaran

Religion is the only subject where your ability to ignore the facts is seen as a positive virtue. — Uri Nassol

Millions of years evolving through countless generations, overcoming massive environmental changes, facing untold death misery and suffering… only to kill each other arguing about imaginary friends. — Uri Nassol

Let me get this straight… I’m going to hell, even though I do not believe in it, but you do?

The Bible is the perfect word of God? WOW! I must go and read about how much he hates slavery, religious wars, rape, and child abuse! — Ella Vanoise

If you believe that someone had to die to get your respect then you are too dimwitted to deserve any respect. — Baron von Knifty

If God made Adam and Eve, they had children… wait a minute… that means someone banged their sister! — Carlos Mencia

Would any God worth the name answer the prayer of a middle class white European, to help him get the job, pass the exam, be a better person, or even help his mother get over cancer, whilst he let a million children die in Africa? — John Bremner

In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the tyrant, allowing his abuses in return for protection to his own. — Thomas Jefferson

You go to heaven for the climate, to hell for the company. — Mark Twain

Atheism is not a religion. It is a personal relationship with reality. — Gregor Kilian

I don’t know if God exists, but it would be better for his reputation if he didn’t. — Jules Renard

It’s funny how an adult can make fun of a child because he believes in imaginary friends, but when an adult makes fun of another one for this, all sorts of persecutions and atrocities are committed to defend the honor of the imaginary friend in question. — Nicolas Donoso

Science takes the jigsaw pieces and tries recreating the original image. Religion throws the jigsaw pieces away and scribbles all over the box. — Hugh Jedake

Believing is easier than thinking. Hence so many more believers than thinkers. — Bruce Calvert

There is no society in history that has ever suffered because its population became too reasonable, too reluctant to embrace dogma, or too demanding of evidence. — Sam Harris

Which is more awe inspiring… a snow flake designed by an invisible intelligence, or a snowflake that exists without the need for any creator? Religion is pointless homo sapien vanity. — Uri Nassol

Religion comforts by telling us death is not real. Science comforts by telling us how incredibly lucky we are to have lived. — Allah Verpint

The more you tell me about him, the more your lord of heaven sounds like my neighbor from hell. — Brother Theodore

When they could find no answer, so they invented one and called it God.

The reason I know there’s no god is that there are so many of them.

Coming from apes is so much better than dirt. — Engie Mangio

Religion is exactly what you deserve when you let others do your thinking for you. — Baron von Knifty

One hundred years ago the average life span in the U.S. was 48. Today (2008) it is 78 years. Religion asserts that we are made in god’s image. This means that our modern medical science has improved on the invention of a perfect god. — Baron von Knifty

I cannot see why we should expect an infinite God to do better in another world than he does in this. — Robert G. Ingersoll

Theist: ‘How do you KNOW that God doesn’t exist?’ Atheist: ‘Because I have FAITH in my own reasoning.’

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed. — Albert Einstein

Maybe the pope is right about condoms, and we should follow the example set by catholic priests… I mean, you don’t need to wear a condom if you’re shagging a small boy, right? — Neil Hurle

Given the choices of religion, you either have an eternity in torment or an eternity repeating one thing. I’m perfectly fine with nonexistance.

If you had been born in Middle-East would you still believe in Jesus? — Richard Dawkins

Where did God come from? If we decide that this is an unanswerable question, why not save a step and conclude that the origin of the universe is an unanswerable question. Or, if we say God always existed, why not save a step and conclude that the universe always existed. There’s no need for a creation. It was always here. — Carl Sagan

I made my daughter read the whole. That’s how you make atheists. — Dave Silverman

The bible was written by the same men that believed the Earth was flat. — Bumper sticker

God always gets the credit, never the blame.

In the beginning there was a lot of scary things going on that man didn’t know. So man said, “let there be God,” and it was so. — Diane Fadden

If life is God’s greatest gift, then why would he create a Universe that is almost completely lifeless?

Evolution tells us we’re all winners. Religion tells us we’re all sinners! — Bumper sticker

You don’t have to believe in God in order to believe in good. — Nick Humphries

Science is wrong according to you, the world you say was created by god. But when did your god ever cure all your diseases, give you computers, or build cars?

Stem cell research means destroying an embryo consisting of approx 150 cells. The brain of a fly is made up of 100,000 cells. So, all you religious twats, stop murdering innocent flies! — The Fly Liberation Front

If you believe in a god simply because “everyone else” does, proves only that you have the “herd mentality” of a lemming. It doesn’t prove that your god exists. — Calliope Muse

Wanting something better is a sin called greed, so isn’t wanting to go to heaven instead of hell greedy as well? — Jacob Denning

If God gave us free will, why does religion take it away? — Rob Imbeault

The bible is no different than a Harry Potter book. They’re both fairy tales in which the main character uses magic to help people. — Carlos Martin DelCampo

A casual stroll down a lunatic asylum will show you that faith means nothing.

Some people believe in God because they want answers. But how do they expect to find answers while claiming they already know them?

What’s the point of fucking praying in the first place? If God has a divine plan, what’s the point of praying? If what you want is in the divine plan, you will get it anyways… and if it’s not, you won’t get it because it’s not in the divine plan. — George Carlin

Believers should thank atheists for giving them a common target for their hatred. History clearly shows that without atheists, religious people quickly turn on each other. — Ryan Jewkes

Religious belief corrupts humans up to the point of making them post their religious quotes on an atheistic web site.

As a child, I was afraid there was a god looking down on me from the sky, judging my every thought and action. I slowly overcame that fear when I forced myself to look up and simply saw the stars and planets… but not any god. — DeltaV, Stickam

Q: What do the Crusades, Inquisitions, witch hunts, Holocaust, and 9/11 have in common? A: They were all “faith-based initiatives”! — Calliope Muse

America was indeed founded upon the profoundly Christian principles of genocide and slavery.

As true Christians we are called upon to marginalize people of other faiths or people with no faith; and to scream “Persecution!” when they rudely return the favour. — Betty Bowers, Landover Baptist Church

Now that scientists have created ‘sperm’, all we have to do is start making babies that die for no reason plus a few diseases to wipe out the world’s poor and we can safely say god is out of a job! — Anne Teekryst

Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool. — Mark Twain

I think it’s interesting how people act on their beliefs. A lot of Christians, for instance, wear crosses around their necks. Nice sentiment, but do you think when Jesus comes back, he’s really going to want to look at a cross? — Bill Hicks

Atheists are the ones pointing out that the emperor is stark bollock naked… theists are the ones killing each other arguing about where the cloth came from. — Esiah Zakite

The philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn’t there. The theologian is the man who finds it.

Think of how many religions attempt to validate themselves with prophecy. Think of how many people rely on these prophecies, however vague, however unfulfilled, to support or prop up their beliefs. Yet has there ever been a religion with the prophetic accuracy and reliability of science? — Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World

Humans are full of human error. Science is where humans place knowledge that has been vetted of human error. — DeltaV, Stickam

Most people are blinded by faith leaving them unable to see the truth that is science. — Harry Johnson

Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner. — Elbert Hubbard

Theology is not what we know about God, but what we do not know about Nature. — Robert G. Ingersoll

A deity who remains silent and invisible should not get angry or surprised at doubt of his reality. — Graham Kendall

The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. — Sydney J. Harris

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. — Bumper sticker

He who opens a school door, closes a prison. — Victor Hugo

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. — Will Durant

If a man would follow, today, the teachings of the Old Testament, he would be a criminal. If he would follow strictly the teachings of the New, he would be insane. — Robert G. Ingersoll

It is fear that first brought gods into the world. — Petronius Arbiter, Satyricon

If triangles had a God, He’d have three sides. — Old Yiddish Proverb

I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours. — Stephen Roberts

In some awful, strange, paradoxical way, atheists tend to take religion more seriously than the practitioners. — Jonathon Miller

I refuse to be labeled immoral merely because I am godless. — Peter Walker

Scriptures: the sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based. — Ambrose Bierce

I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. — D. Dale Gulledge

Millions of Americans will put on their finest clothes, pile into SUVs, and drive past prisons, orphanages, battered women shelters, drug rehab centers, etc, just to go to a very expensive building to have someone tell them how to be more like Jesus? — Little, Stickam

Total reliance on faith as your source of knowledge enables you to be duped by anyone you deem “believable”. — DeltaV, Stickam

The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature. — Alfred North Whitehead

Religion supports nobody. It has to be supported. It produces no wheat, no corn; it ploughs no land; it fells no forests. It is a perpetual mendicant. It lives on the labors of others, and then has the arrogance to pretend that it supports the giver. — Robert G. Ingersoll

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. — George Bernard Shaw

To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals. — Don Schrader

A long and wicked life followed by five minutes of perfect grace gets you into Heaven. An equally long life of decent living and good works followed by one outburst of taking the name of the Lord in vain – then have a heart attack at that moment – and be damned for eternity. Is that the system? — Robert A. Heinlein

I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs. — Frederick Douglass, Escaped Slave

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. — Fred Allen

Creation science is an attempt to give credibility to Hebrew mythology by making people believe that the world’s foremost biologists, paleontologists, and geologists are a bunch of incompetent nincompoops. — Ron Peterson

It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it. — G.K. Chesterton

Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money! — George Carlin

I’ve found that most people that want to share their religious beliefs with you very rarely want you to share yours with them. — Bumper sticker

Science is not infallible, but it has something religion lacks: a process of testing claims against real-world observations. — P.Z. Myers

Don’t confuse your beliefs with knowledge unless you have knowledge of your beliefs. — S. V Lalor

God is Perfect? Perfect beings do not experience anger or suprise towards a sequence of events they knew of in advance. — John Kelly Ireland

You should live your life and try to make the world a better place for your being in it, whether or not you believe in god. If there is no god, you have lost nothing and will be remembered fondly by those you left behind. If there is a benevolent god, he will judge you on your merits and not just on whether or not you believed in him. — The Atheist’s Wager

If the ignorance of nature gave birth to gods, the knowledge of nature is calculated to destroy them. — Baron D’Holbach

The main difference between a prophet and a psychopath is whether or not they can get followers. — Ralph Hood, Professor of Psychology, University of Tennessee in Chattanooga

If you don’t think for yourself, someone else will. — DeltaV, Stickam

The welfare of humankind should be an essential ingredient in moral decision- making whether God exists or does not. Morality is necessary for human survival and the existence, or non-existence, of God cannot change this. — Jenski, Stickam

Santa is our first lesson that parents and adults will lie to us… gods should be the second lesson. — DeltaV, Stickam

A belief is an idea around which we close our minds. — Bob Allen

If your relationship with Jesus is so “personal”, then why do you feel the need to push it on everyone else? — Justin Jones

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross. — Sinclair Lewis

Faith is a term that makes ignorance sound like a virtue. — Anthony Provenzano

Religions are dead ends on the highway of reality. — DeltaV, Stickam

If religion is the answer, the question must be utterly absurd. — Nyan Prater

We’re pretty advanced for a species. But somebody has to be leading the pack in this universe. And chances are that somebody else is. — Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin, Jr., Astronaut, Apollo 11

Religion is a lot like NASCAR, something for the ignorant masses to believe in. — Haywood Newkirk

It can’t be seen, smelled, felt, heard, tasted, measured, or understood… therefore, let’s worship it? — Bumper sticker

Some Christians say god is the source of morality, these people have clearly never read the bible. — Gabriel Neil

The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. — Stephen Hawking

Religion provides the solace for the turmoil that it creates. — Byron Danelius

The bible is no different than a Harry Potter book, they’re both fairy tales in which the main character uses magic to help people. — Unknown

Q: What do the Crusades, witch hunts, Holocaust and 9/11 have in common?
A: They were all “faith-based initiatives — Unknown

Praying is like crying, it makes you feel better but it wont get you anywhere. — Robin Lacaden

Religion began as a natural explanation of the universe. The problem started when people refused to accept new evidence. — B.B.

Religion is exactly what you deserve when you let others do your thinking for you. — Baron von Knifty

Religion does three things quite effectively: Divides people, Controls people, Deludes people. — Carlespie Mary Alice McKinney

Today’s religion will be the future’s mythology. Both believed at one time by many; but proved wrong by the clever. — Steven Crocker

There is in every village a torch – the teacher; and an extinguisher- the clergyman. — Victor Hugo

Atheism is not a philosophy; it is not even a view of the world; it is simply an admission of the obvious. — Sam Harris

No god ever came down and wiped out a disease. Science did. A vaccine will. — Nick Annis

What one man calls God, another calls the laws of physics. — Nikola Tesla

Supporters of intelligent design think that if they see something they don’t understand, it must be God. — Professor Steve Jones

If Christ were here now, there is one thing he would not be — a Christian. — Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)

There was a knock on the door this morning. I opened it to find a young man standing there who said: “I’m a Jehovah’s Witness.” I said “Come in and sit down, what do you want to talk about?” He said, “Beats the shit out of me, I’ve never gotten this far before.”

Missionaries: People traveling around the world telling everyone else how wrong they are.

Spirituality really lost its way when it became a stick to beat people with: ‘Do this or you’ll burn in hell.’ — Ricky Gervais

If all atheists left the USA it would lose 93% of the National Academy of Sciences but less than 1% of the prison population. — @Scott_Hurst, Twitter

Ignoring Jesus is saying yes to hell. — Bumper Sticker seen in Wisconsin

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. — Thomas Paine

Science doesn’t know everything. Religion doesn’t know anything. — AronRa

In no instance have the churches been guardians of the liberties of the people. — James Madison

Religion: Where a fool and his money are soon parted. — Zappaman69, Stickam

I’m going door to door educating christians about evolution. — Bumper Sticker

A believer is not a thinker and a thinker is not a believer. — Bumper Sticker

Fornicating is fun… you should try it some time. — Bumper Sticker

Can I teach evolution in your church? — Bumper Sticker

Gods represent everything you haven’t figured out the natural causes for. — DeltaV, Stickam

Doubt is the pornography of a believing mind. — Infinity730, Stickam

What kind of lunatic would make a rape victim marry her attacker? Answer: God. — Deuteronomy 22:28-29

Don’t swallow your moral code in tablet form. — Christopher Hitchens

An intelligent person does not need the promise of heaven to be a good person. — MelanieAt, Twitter

Sometimes the infinitely loving and merciful thing to do is to murder all humans except 8 people. — The god of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam

The Church is going to have to recognise that secularisation is not the cause of their decline, it is the result of it. — Keith Porteous Wood

The inspiration of the bible depends on the ignorance of the person who reads it. — Robert G. Ingersoll

The sailor does not pray for wind, he learns to sail. — Gustaf Lindborg

A mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be lighted. — Plutarch

Tradition becomes our security, and when the mind is secure it is in decay. — Jiddu Krishnamurti

There is but one Earth, tiny and fragile, and one must get 100,000 miles away to appreciate fully one’s good fortune in living on it. — Astronaut Michael Collins

You do not need the Bible to justify love, but no better tool has been invented to justify hate. — Richard A. Weatherwax

Voting for christian politicians is like giving your car keys to a drunk friend.

The bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.

What’s ‘God’? Well, you know, when you want something really bad and you close your eyes and you wish for it? Yeah, God is the guy that ignores you.

Religion has left a bad taste in my mind. — DeltaV, Stickam

Religion has left a bad taste in my mouth since it was always shoved down my throat. — Missmissayy, Stickam

A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be. — Albert Einstein

I look forward to the day the cross sits discarded beside the swastika as just another reminder of the dangers of blind faith. — Craig Smith

I’m getting bored with this planet. Anyone mind if I destroy it and start over? — Yahweh

Gods always behave like the people who created them. — Zora Neale Hurston

The believer is happy; the doubter is wise. — Hungarian proverb

Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make when in the presence of religious dogma. — Sam Harris

Every time some American declares us a Christian nation, I’m reminded of the failing of our educational system.

George Bush says he speaks to god every day, and Christians love him for it. If George Bush said he spoke to god through his hair dryer, they would think he was mad. I fail to see how the addition of a hair dryer makes it any more absurd. — Sam Harris

If all the atheists left the USA, it would lose 93% of the National Academy of Sciences but less than 1% of the prison population.

“Give the impression that you are there to work for the party, not push an ideology.” — Pat Robertson

“We want…as soon as possible to see a majority of the Republican Party in the hands of pro-family Christians…” — Pat Robertson, The Denver Post in 1992

“The Grand Old Party is more religious cult than political organization.” — Alamo City Republican Women’s club, President of the Alamo City Republican Women’s club, 1993

“Get them saved, get them Baptized, and get them registered.” — Jerry (Lamon) Falwell (August 11, 1933 – May 15, 2007), Leader of the Moral Majority, evangelical fundamentalist Southern Baptist pastor, televangelist, and a conservative commentator from the United States

Someone said ‘It sucks to be having to say this. Steve Jobs has died.’… I replied, ‘It’s great to be able to say this… Steve Jobs lived.’ — DeltaV, Stickam

The evangelical pastor calling Mormonism a “cult” is like Kim Kardashian calling Paris Hilton a bimbo.

The only God I know is what comes out of a woman’s mouth I am banging. — Oneness in Christ, Paltalk

Asking atheists if they’re angry at god is like asking the Japanese if they’re angry at Godzilla.

You can know the name of a bird in all the languages of the world, but when you’re finished, you’ll know absolutely nothing whatever about the bird… So let’s look at the bird and see what it’s doing — that’s what counts. I learned very early the difference between knowing the name of something and knowing something. — Richard Feynman

Religionists claim that their truth is absolute and rock solid, while scientists concede that their truth is tentative and relative. — C. W. Dalton

A fundie claimed “God invented science”. All of science is tentative and approximate, also sometimes mistaken. Is that the best God can do? — Graham Kendall

Scientific hypotheses are always tentative; they are designed to be held only so long as they conform to the evidence. Proponents of the theistic hypothesis, on the other hand, are already sure that their hypothesis is correct; they only seek evidence to buttress a foregone conclusion. — Keith Parsons

If you call yourself Atheist, Agnostic, Ignostic, Non-Religious, Freethinker, Rationalist, Secular, Spiritual, Skeptic, Deist, ‘Nothing,’ or any number of non-religious descriptives, you could probably count yourself a Humanist.

I didn’t ask to be created in sin. I didn’t ask for my desires. Why should I ask for forgiveness?

If God wanted to impress me with his ‘miracles’ he would’ve impregnated Joesph, not a poor unwed teenage girl. That shit happens every day. — @VerifiedDrunk, Twitter

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics. — Robert A. Heinlein, Postscript to Revolt in 2100

I don’t have an issue with what you do in the church, but I’m gonna be up in your face if you’re gonna knock on my science classroom and tell me they’ve got to teach what you’re teaching in your Sunday school. Because that’s when we’re gonna fight! — Neil deGrasse Tyson

God, is genuinely missing, as far as physics is concerned, which is why he’s never mentioned in the textbooks. On the other hand, in anthropology, archaeology and other human sciences, there are plenty of gods, but they are treated realistically as what they are: human cultural creations. — Anonymous